Final

Kind of late announcement, but I have shifted to

http://fivemoremonths.blogspot.com/

Not good

It is late now, supposed to be sleeping. However all my teammates are still up and working hard. Leave only me who are lazy and go back to sleep. Bad bad.

These few days a funny thought comes to my mind. I do not believe it. How could I think of giving up my studies here? Then go for travelling and resume studying at other university. Am I too stressful in this particular university (so mathematical way of writing)? So far it seems like I am doing fine and trying a lot of unexpected things. Why this kind of thought comes to me?

Maybe I need to rethink the reason why I am here. I guess not many people can actually answer this question to themselves. However, they are still able to live their lives. I should put it aside first...

Back

Most important thing to say. I am back, safely. Look forward for the update of my trip.

Haha

Yesterday morning, when I woke up and saw the email. My heart was so cold... After awhile, I finally realised that it will probably solve our problem. Yes, a good news. Which can save me a lot of trouble. So can go on the trip with a good mood.

Now only need to confirm the timeslot for performance. And travel plan is finally out. I feel so tired today, will not do work today!! Need to rest.

Yes, it has been long time since I last wrote. Even the previous post, I actually wrote it few hours ago though it was dated much earlier. It was so busy, so busy... And it will continue until schoool reopen... Then another phase of business.

Add oil!!

Things

It has been terrible for me. So many parties trying to stretch me at the same time. It is good to stretch ourselves, to help us grow. But please not at one go.

I know I should be appreciate as this shows that there are so many people who are willing to help me to grow further. And I am really thankful. Most importantly, you are just doing your parts to help me, since no one knows how many people are stretching me.

Music, leadership, administration, construction, design, emergency respond and more... All these are compacted into this holiday. My first summer holiday is so eventful. I am so luck. The only worry in my mind is that I will fall sick or too tired, until I could not further learn in the upcoming trip. And I am feeling unwell now... I do not wish to waste my parents' money just like that.

Oh

Just back from outside. These few days are really tiring, could not get enough sleep. Two more weeks, then it is the day.

Work harder and harder. Things will go better.. I just need more time to sleep.

Do Work

Today is a tiring day. I can only say so.

Every side demands full effort from me, which, sadly, I could not fulfill it. I went to practice just now, I just cannot make it. There is a big gap between seniors and me. I know they are trying to help me to stretch myself, but I have no more energy to spare. I wish I have more time.

Activities are still the same for everyday, just wake up and start work. I did not go back to continue with work. So many administration thing to be done. A long list of it.

I am still wanting for the call to tell me the results. I am confused whether I want it. But it seems to me an easy way out from current situation.


Still halfway reading that novel. Nearly two weeks, blame work that prevents me from reading it. This volume is about nationalisme. I am seriously affected by the book, not those bad one. Just that it really makes me think a lot.

We should learn and use our language. Then why should we learn foreign language (in this case, Dutch)? This is to help us to see what we cannot see about ourselves. People at the other side of the world might be able to understand us and our people better than us.

You are the hope of your people because you learn.

Smile

Days pass so fast. Before I could realise (I realise now), we have formed a strong bond among our team. Thanks to seeing each other for more than 16 hours everyday. Except weekends, just for the moment. It was very itchy (wrong use of English) in my heart as I saw all the architecture things since some of us are from school of design and environment. Haha, I have never seriously thought of studying architecture before.

I think I have some lapses of memoris. Haha, something are missing from my brain. Anyway eyeing the future and forgetting the past.

Again, I need to nag. I really feel appreciative to my parents. The feeling is getting stronger and stronger as I see more and more things. I understand more the knowledge I learnt last time, the skill and life skill I acquired. I still remember last time I always complain to them that I do not want to learn subjects other than sciences. However now I know the meaning of those knowledge.

Put it in simple, just learn whatever we can, do not judge them.

Tired

Getting busier and busier. Less and less time to rest. Also nearly no more time to study.

Praying more and more these days. Just hope it will come true. Hope that health will not stop me. I want to save money!! Just now went to update passbook and my account is so empty. I pray..

I am tired, yet I need more energy to work. Nothing much to talk about my life these days. Wake up and work, and sleep. Not a very healthy lifestyle. I pray that my prayer comes true, then I will have more time for myself. I pray hard and hard.

Still reading that novel, very slowly. Too tired to read everyday. Especially my day ends at 3 plus am..

Home

I miss home. I always say home is where we are. It is not totally right, as our childhood memory will be always a home to us. No matter it is a good or bad reflection for us, we just feel home when we are back.

Tomorrow, safe journey. Welcome back.

Mathematics

I borrowed three books on Algebra today. Then now need to find time to read it. I know it will be hard as my standard is not there yet, quite far from there actually.

In third page, I am a bit blur. It states that mathematical induction is not a prove. What I learnt is the opposite of it. Interesting..

Look

I had a good news yesterday. Or more precisely, a chance that I had prayed for. Prayed very hard. I hope it will turn out fine.

Will talk about it if it becomes reality. If not, forget it. And look forward. Haha, it does not serve to make you all curious. =P

Have been thinking about the point to write a blog, to have a blog. Come across of many 'professional' blogs, which I find them 'special'. Nearly every entry, there will be a lot of comments. The problems are, they are by nearly the same group of people, writing nearly the same kind of comments. Just ponder, whether their job everyday is to read a list of blogs and leave comments just for the acts. Then what is the meaning of a blog?

I realised that I am not reading anything worth mentioning. I feel bad over it, as it does not mean they are meaningless. Just that I have no inspiration from them. Maybe I should read more.

Talking about reading, I realise that there are literature that are being ignored by the ignorant me. Saw a quote from friend's blog. By Shakespeare, and this reminds me how bad of me who never put in effort to understand his writing. Plenty to explore in the world of literature, and this is not limited on only one language. Faster get excited.

Tired

Getting more and more tired these days. Should be because of pushing myself a bit hard. However, no worry. It is still well within my limit.

Activities are still enjoyable as usual, just that there are some minor changes pop up now and then. Which are quite demoralising sometimes. Tried to change my mindset, and I found everyday is getting better.

Called back home last night. Glad that things are fine at home.

Life

Religion is part of life, and there is no use of arguing how to practice it. We should not view it in term of value, just don't do the math. It is just a way of life, a guide. We should not expect return from God, as what is ours is ours. Let the teaching fuses into you, instead of trying to live in written principle.

Quite true that there is a difference between the new converts and the believers.

luck

By the way, good luck to those who are waiting for local university admission results. It will be out next week!! Haha, quite a late news as it was announced few days ago but I forgot to write this out.

Book

Finished reading a book this morning. A very weird novel. The raw shark texts by Steven Hall. It is about a psychic man and his imagination. The world his mind lives in is described using the whole book. Only at the end, a newspaper cutting shows that he is dead after that and his doctor is detained to aide the investigation.

Shark that eat our memory, suck out life. A kind that lives in world of word. Follows the flow of information and thoughts. Evolves slowly with the progress of human civilisation.

Think

These few days, I am really controlling my mind. Preventing myself on spending money on unnecessary stuff. Like snack. I do not know whether this is good, but I have been doing these for long.

Long until everytime I go home, parents bring me out for meal, yet I cannot think of anything I want to eat. No favourite food, no hated food. No favourite past time, no dislike activity. Sense of desire disappears, or more correctly phrased is hidden. Out of sudden, I will feel like eating some thing, some much missed food. Remove the thought from mind, then it will be all right.

Only when I need to know what I need, I just could not think of any.

Holiday

Now is one-third of the vacation. Before its start, I set a few targets for myself. So will do a check on my progress later.

Promised myself to study. On topics of tensor, relativity, linear algebra and french. So far so good, only linear algebra is lagging behind. Finished cartesian tensor and special relativity. French could never be finished, but only to continue. If there is time, I would like to study algebra. However, it is quite unlikely.

Life has been quite good, just that I was a bit tired these few days. My determination is back as last time during my high school. Next semester will be a better one. Last night, went out for supper with friends. Only had a fruit juice, need to save money. Will be spending a lot in july..

Seems like my hope to save money is gone. NO a good news. Need to find ways to earn money.

Pray

Yesterday I supposed to eat chinese dumplings. Yet I did not go around to get one for myself. Called back home just now, I miss my family..

Just sent out the application, but late. I hope that they still will consider it and of course, even more hope that they will choose me. Pray for the best scenario.

Paper

Forgot to write down this last night. Yesterday, there was an article on paper about working world in a few countries. The one on Korea drew my eyes. It mentioned about how koreans place a lot of emphasis on seniority and it is sounded like worse than Japan.

The kind of weird situation of focus on age instead of experience really looks familiar to me. In school, people expect seniors to be better than juniors. And so do seniors think that they are better, for do-not-know reasons. I find it being magnified in hall. I agree that it is good to respect seniors, since as a junior we have to learn. However, please seniors do not expect juniors to respect you. This is just an over-pride act.


I am very happy with my progress with studies. It just makes me feel better. I need more books to support it, but I have to find a home for all those books. I do not wish to have my books wandering around homeless like me.